Support us at the Napa Tour de Cure!

Whenever someone learns that I will be running this year's San Francisco Half-Marathon, the usual reply is: "Really?! Good for you!" usually followed by, "For what cause?" to which I (sometimes, shamefully) answer, "Uhh, myself?".

There are a thousand other causes I can run for and yeah, I feel selfish (at times), for not doing this for those causes but I promised myself that this first one is gonna be for me, to mark my 30th birthday.

Then came the chance to join the Napa Tour de Cure.

Tour de Cure is a series of cycling events held in more than 80 cities nationwide to benefit the American Diabetes Association. In California alone, there are 6 Tour de Cure this spring, including the Napa one, which will be on May 6, 2007. The Tour is a ride, not a race, with routes designed for everyone from the occasional rider to the experienced cyclist. This is why Aldwin and I jumped at the chance to join in the fun.

Aldwin and I will be riding under Team Bio-rad (the company where Aldwin works) and will be doing the 25 mile ride. Aside from the promise of food and wine (it's Napa, after all!), we're doing this to support a cause we both believe in: to prevent and cure diabetes and to improve the lives of all people affected by diabetes.

Both of us have family and friends living with diabetes and we will be riding for them, and for the millions of other people who are hoping for a cure.

If you would like to help and support us in this worthy cause, you can make your donation online at my or Aldwin's personal Tour de Cure website. You can also mail in your contribution (please make all checks payable to American Diabetes Association) to our home address (e-mail me at lgsaldua@gmail.com if you don't have it). Any amount (as in kahit $5 lang) will be greatly appreciated.

Oh, and Aldwin's company will match the amount that the team can raise so your (tax-deductible, for people here in the US) contribution will go a long way in helping the fight against diabetes.

Again, click on these links to donate online:

Leah

Aldwin

Our thanks in advance for your help and support! :0)

3.1.71

Today, she had a thought... what if she'd never met him?

What's in my kikay kit?

I don't really know that much about make-up, what I do know though is what looks good on me and on others. I am actually a little scared about experimenting with make-up and looking weird, that's why I stick to a couple of basics that have been tried and tested.

Here are my present kikay kit favorites which I always bring with me:

For the face:

MAC Studio Fix in NC43
This seamlessly blends into my skin without the heavily, made-up feeling while providing enough coverage for minor blemishes. The key is finding the right color for your skin tone and applying it with a fluffy brush.

The Body Shop Pearl Bronzer in Bronze
I read somewhere that bronzers are so last year already but I don't care. This particular one comes in little pearls, in different shades of bronze. It never fails to give me a sunkissed glow. Plus the pearls ensure that just enough product gets into the brush to avoid 'clown cheeks'.

For the lips:
(I usually focus more on my lips when I do my 'everyday' make-up -- I use a balm, a liner, then lipstick and finishes with gloss.)

Chapstick in Cherry
My husband and I actually buy this in bulk at Costco because we keep it everywhere -- our cars, our dresser, our bathroom vanity, my kikay kit, my gym bag, even my desk at work! The medicated one is best for winter days but the one shown here is enough color for me on days when I'm too lazy to put on my 'face'.

Sonia Kashuk Lip Definer in Maple
MAC Cremestick Liner in Plum Soft
I always make sure to keep two lipliners in my kikay kit, one 'day' color and one fancy enough for a night out just in case I don't get the chance to go home and change.
The Sonia Kashuk one is 'nude' enough to use for work but not sickly pale. The MAC one is in a berry shade, perfect for night-outs yet laid back enough to use for day too.

MAC Lustre Lipstick in Russe
I was really surprised to find out how versatile this color is. It changes from prim and proper to sexy and alluring, depending on what color liner and gloss you use with it. On its own, it's very sheer with enough moisturizers to keep lips supple.

MAC Lipglass in Corps-de-ballet
Nivea Lip Care Caregloss and Shine Tinted
Like lipliners, I also tend to have two kinds of gloss. The Lipglass one is a little heavy for me for day use but it provides a sexy shine to complete my evening attire. The Nivea one I love, alone or layered with other lip products.

For eyes:

Neutrogena Skin Soothing Eye Tints in Honey Shimmer
MAC Eye Shadow Veluxe Pearl in Jete
The Neutrogena Eye Tint is usually enough for my daily use. It glides on very sheer but does a lot in brightening eyes. The cooling sensation is a plus for tired eyes.
My eyeshadows usually depend on my outfit, but in instances when I can't get to my stash at home, the MAC one is presently my default 'night' color. It's just a brighter sheer, a perfect backdrop to berry lips.
(In my experience so far, MAC shadows seem to stay on a lot longer than others I've tried.)

MAC Fibre Rich Lash in All Black
Again, I usually keep it simple when it comes to my everyday eye make-up so I rarely wear mascara and eyeliner; however, during those times when I feel like I need an additional pick-me-up, MAC mascara does a great job. I like how the brush separates each lash making the over-all effect a lot thicker.


Sonia Kashuk Travel Brush Set
Of course, it goes without saying that all these products are nothing without the proper tools to put them on. There are a lot of very nice and very expensive brush sets available today. I use Sonia Kashuk brushes because they are very affordable without sacrificing quality. I keep a travel brush set in my kikay kit (I have a bigger set at home) which includes small and medium eyeshadow brushes, a mini blusher for my bronzer and powder and an eyebrow comb/brush to tame my brows and lashes.

Wow?

I'm enjoying using Windows Vista but the wow factor, I still have to see.

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Love's in the air.

So yeah, there I was, feeling smug, in a very ang-haba-ng-hair-ko-lolah way, thinking that I just had the best Valentines ever when my sister called and totally trumped me up... SHE'S GETTING MARRIED!!!

But that's not to say that I didn't have the best Valentines ever :0)

The dozen red roses I was kinda expecting and that, I got.

I was also expecting sushi-to-go and probably a quiet night of American Idol and Criminal Minds. Instead, I got this:



Balloons, confetti, streamers, love songs. The whole shebang.

And this:



A candlelit dinner.

And this, too.



Just in case you missed that, yeah, I got another dozen roses, but really, I was talking about this:



My very own Ipod shuffle. In a very fashionable copper tone.

Sigh. My husband just keeps on raising the bar (sorry, cingular).

No wonder I love my husband more than I love shoes (wonderful, wonderful shoes!).

:0D

Project Shoe Design

Mr. A has been bugging me to retire my trusty red LA Gears for a couple of months now. I told him I would once I see something worth trading it for. So I've looked and looked and looked but nothing was calling out to me. I'd rather have old, ratty shoes that I love than spanking new ones that are totally not me. (Yup, I take shoe shopping seriously hehe :0D).

In desperation (I think), Mr. A showed me this website. He was playing around with it, trying to come up with a pair that will speak to me. He showed me his design, I fiddled around with it and came up with something nice. Then I totally forgot about it.

Fast forward to 3 weeks later -- Mr. A surprised me with my very own Nike Leahs. (I didn't even know you can have your name on them hehe :0P). My husband is the best :0)

Needless to say, my LA Gears are now out of the picture while my Nikes and I are getting to know each other really well training for the half marathon.

2 years.

My mother said: find someone who loves you more than you love him



I thought that was kind of unfair.

Then I found him.



It's not that I love him less... oh, no... I love him more than I could ever love someone and each day shows me how much more I can still love him.





But somehow, he always manage to show me that he loves me more than I can ever love him.



And that humbles me.



And makes me want to strive more to be worthy of such love.



I love you, babe. Thanks for 2 years of wedded bliss.

The dawn of realization.

I've been having a bad case of holiday blues lately. Which, when I think about it, is weird, given the fact that it's my second Christmas here. Last Christmas was a little lonesome, yeah, but I don't recall feeling this homesick.

I guess part of it is the fact that it was still all so new to me. I was so engrossed in all these things I needed to do to establish myself here that I never got to fully comprehend how big a step it was that I took. I didn't have time to think about what I was losing, what with all the immigration appointments I had to go to, all the requirements I needed to meet to get licensed, all the big and little things I had to get used to to settle down.

I figured this was bound to happen sooner or later. The realization of how much I needed to give up in order to get to where I am right now. No regrets, just an overwhelming sadness at times.

I remember a song on the Wicked, The Musical OST that totally captured it all...

That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
(spoken) Well - not "simply":
(sung) 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!

Well, this must be the kind of sort of cost...

Decking the halls.

These are the results of one very busy weekend:

Running on caffeine.

And sugar, on what turned out to be a very interesting morning.

One tall, coffee frappuccino.

One cinnamon twist.

One slice of banana-nut bread.

Four and a half hours.

12 patients.

And surely, a ton of paperwork to follow.

But it's all good.

Kasi dey op ako bukas :0D

I'm planning on crashing from my sugar high as soon as I get home and will resurface at around lunch tom. Hopefully, I'll have enough time to finish all my paperwork, fold the laundry, do the dishes, vacuum the house before my eye appointment at four.

Hmm. Wishing. Will probably end up on the couch, vegetating while watching a gazillion Law and Order reruns :0P

My Shoe Collection (Part 2)

These are the pairs I've acquired within the last year and a half that I've been living here in the Bay Area.

Flats







Flats are #1 in my list. They are comfortable and practical enough for work without sacrificing style. Obviously, I'm more partial to girly, flirty styles although the simple black Bruno Magli ones are my favorites.

Wedges





I'm so glad that wedges are back!! They let me add height without sacrificing comfort. Believe it or not, I only paid $27.00 for both the black and white pair and the ankle-tied brown pair, so far the best deal I've ever got!!

Heels





I don't wear heels that often any more, unlike when I was in Manila. The black strappy ones and the round-toed, ankle-tied ones I bought for specific occasions while the two Naturalizer pairs were the very first shoes I bought when I got here in California.

Boots




The high-heeled boots I bought at a flea-market for around $20 to complete my pirate costume last Halloween while the wedge ones were bought specifically for our NY trip last winter.

Others


The Indian-inspired slip-ons were given as a gift and the black, wooden ones I bought at a county fair.


These are my casual shoes. I got the funky split-toed Nike from the Outlet store and I got the red Keens for free through a coupon given by a patient.


And of course, my tsinelas. The Nike ones I bought pala in Manila while the brown Roxy pair was an unplanned purchase when I found myself walking along Huntington Beach in sneakers.

Grabe! Not counting the thong ones and the slippers, I've managed to add 17 pairs of shoes in as many months... meaning I'm averaging a pair a month. Tsk. Tsk. I might have a problem after all ;0P

They say I have a shoe problem.

I say it's more like a 'heightened appreciation' for shoes.

For me, shoes can make or break an outfit. With the right pair of shoes, jeans and a white shirt can either look casual, sporty or glam. Purses and accessories are just icing on the cake.

The cake itself? Shoes.

I was in college when my love affair with shoes started. Before then, I only had the requisite pairs -- black mid-heels for dressy occasions, black flats for school and sneakers for everything else. But in college, I slowly evolved. Suddenly, three pairs weren't enough to meet all my needs. And my needs grew along with my shoe collection when I started earning my own money.

So you can just imagine how difficult it was for me to choose what shoes to pack when I moved here last year. It took me two days to go through all my shoes and to decide which ones were joining me in my new life.

And here were the lucky ones...


My favorite flats. See how cool the black ones are? Each shoe has a different embroidered image :0) That's why it breaks my heart that I have to retire this pair (along with the printed white ones) coz of damages :0(

My kitten-heeled mules and colorful sandals. When I left Manila, kitten-heels were still very much in vogue. Although I still like these pairs, I don't wear them as often since I always end up with a killer backache coz of the kitten-heels:0P

My metallic heels. I love how these can dress up any outfit! The beribboned ones I wore to my wedding reception. The strappy ones I bought at People Are People (Robinson's Place) for just Php200 (around US$4)-- nice deal huh?!

My high-heeled mules. Although I don't wear them as much nowadays, these were pretty much my uniform whenever I had a lecture to give back in Manila. High heels and pointy-toes somehow gave me an aura of respectability (enough para magmarunong hehe).

My only sling-backs. I remember buying this on impulse at Cardam's (Rob Place, Mla.) coz they looked so good with the pants I was wearing then. I'm glad they turned out to be an investment piece after all.

My only pair of white shoes. (Pardon the yucky stains).

My only pair of sneakers.

I haven't worn this pair yet when I was about to leave Manila last year. They were from my Mom. I don't really wear them much since they're really not my style but they do come in handy as slippers come winter time.

That's it. Next time, I'll post pics of the shoes I bought when I got here :0)

30 Things A Woman Should Have & Should Know By The Time She's 30 (Part 2)

Here's the next part of the list.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
I'm still learning this one along with the one that says how to not give a damn about what people will say.
2. How you feel about having kids.
I know that I want kids. It's the timing I'm still thinking about.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
Hmm. The first and last I'm quite adept with. About the middle one, the only time I did it, I didn't do so well and I sure as hell have no plans of doing it again :0P
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
I'm well on my way on this one. Knowing what battles are worth fighting gets you a lot closer to winning the war.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
Oh, yeah baby! Though kissing just one man kinda makes this a lot easier to master.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
I know the first one but I'm lost on the next two. But I do know the names of the stores where you can get fabulous shoes for fabulous prices :0)
7. How to live alone, even if you don't like to.
Hmm. This hasn't been empirically proven yet but theoretically, I think I've got the know-how to do this.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
Huh? Does this mean feeling comfortable with my years? If it does, then my answer is a resounding YES.
9. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
I learned the first 2 early in life and moved on to greater things -- like obsessing about changing my grades:0P The third one, I'm slowly learning. Slowly is the keyword here :0P
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
I know, I know. But there's no harm in having a second one di ba? hehe ;0)
11. What you would and wouldn't do for money or love.
Yes, I know the stuff that falls under these. But I wish I could say that all of them are set in stone. One thing I do know, everything changes.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
Hah. Check, check, check and uhh... check!
13. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally.
Everyday's a learning experience for me on this one.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault.
This I gotta learn... and soon!
15. Why they say life begins at 30.
Oh yeah, I know this for sure. Like I know for sure that life begins at 40 when I turn 40 hehe ;0)

30 Things A Woman Should Have & Should Know By The Time She's 30 (Part 1)

I turn 29 this month.

Yup, just a year from the big three-oh.

And that reminded me of this list that Glamour magazine published (not sure when).

So, just for fun, I'm going to run through it now to see how I rate.

According to the list, by 30 you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come.
Hmm. Since I'm happily married, I'd imagine this would be unsafe territory hehe :0) Instead of boyfriends, let's generalize it into friends -- those you can imagine growing old with and those who remind you of how far you've come. And yes, I have those. It took me the last few years to fully realize and accept which is which.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Since I moved to an entirely different continent, this technically does not apply to me :0P But I'm hoping to buy a couple of pieces to makeover our home.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
Yes to both, although I'm sure the man-of-my-dreams- would rather see me wearing nothing (right, babe?!).
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Check, check, check. A quilted Coach bag, a small, simple purple umbrella and a red suitcase.
5. A youth you're content to move beyond.
Yup. You can't pay me enough to go back to my 21 year-old self.
6. A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
I guess, depends on how you define juicy though :0P
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age - and some money set aside to help fund it.
Check again. My husband and I are drawing up our battleplan to establish financial freedom :0)
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account - all of which nobody has access to but you.
I don't need the first two but I'm thinking about the third one.
9. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
Oh, yeah. And soon, I'll have one more entry to add to it: Physical Therapist, licensed in the State of California.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
Yes and yes. Almost all my friends can make me laugh but only a few lets me cry, no questions asked, no unsolicited advices given.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
Yes to the screwdrivers and the cordless drill plus I even know how to use them. No to the black lace bra since I find lace itchy. But I have found a bra brand that fits me perfectly, and that, as every woman knows, is worth a million :0)
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
The thing is, I maybe a shop-a-holic but deep-inside, I'm still very much kuripot :0P So, no, I haven't yet bought anything ridiculously expensive in one go but I'm sure if you add up the cost of all the shoes I bought in just the last year, it'll amount to ridiculously expensive. And I'm also pretty sure that if ever I can set aside my conscience for a moment or two and do get to buy a ridiculously expensive thing, it'll be a pair of Manolos.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
I didn't get to my 20th pair of shoe (that brings the total to 35 pairs) in 17 months without believing, quite heartfully, I must say, that I deserve it :0D
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
I'm proud to say that I have the sunscreen and moisturizer thing down pat. The exercise routine, I'm still struggling with :0P
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
Oh, yeah baby! My career is well on it's way however long and winding the road was and still is. My relationship? I couldn't ask for more though I'm always striving hard to be more.

Hmm. How do I rate? Not bad huh? ;0)

Now, I need to do a few chores so the 'should know' part of the list is coming on my next post:0)

Looks like I spoke too soon.

I just finished downloading the study guide for the California Law Exam (CLE) -- all 98 pages of it :0P I still think it's going to be easier than the boards but I guess it's not going to be the walk in the park that I thought it would be. But I'm not complaining, no siree. I'd rather plod through 98 pages of legal jargon than repeat studying for the State Boards. After all, 98 pages is nothing compared to cramming 2 years of study into 3 weeks :0P

Anyway, I think I'm gonna have enough time to study for it because contrary to what I thought, that all I need to do is schedule the CLE, I still need to go through a couple of steps before I get to sit for it. Steps like registering for it and waiting for my authorization-to-test letter before I can actually schedule. Anyway, it's all good. No rush.

On to other stuff -- next month's gonna be my birthday month and I'm looking forward to it, more than usual. My 28th year has been good so far and I know that with the way things are going, my 29th will be a lot better :0)

For not so good news, we finally had someone look over the damage to our front lawn. The landscaper said that it will cost us $400 to get everything cleaned up. That does not include replacement of the Junipers that was burned. Sigh. The painful thing is it's gonna come from our own pockets. The insurance can cover it but we've decided that it's not worth getting our premiums jacked up. Oh-well.

We're off to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. This movie holds a special place in my heart since it's based on the Disney ride -- and that's where my husband proposed to me :0)

Thank you, Lord!

I passed!!!

Thank God!!!

I passed the National Physical Therapist Examination! All that's left to do is pass the California Law Exam for Physical Therapists :0)

(I'm not worried about that one since it's just like the DMV exam -- you know, where all the stuff you need to learn to pass is in one booklet.)

Love talaga ako ni Lord :0) Thanks for all the prayers and the positive thoughts you guys sent my way!

Back to regular programming.

I finally got around to balancing my checkbook after 2 months :0P (yep, my last entry was sometime April). I'm just so glad I have an online transaction record.

Which led me to thinking that I'm really bad when it comes to pressure. When something of importance comes up, I get this tendency to overrate the event to the point that it eclipses everything else.

Really. I'm soo graceless under pressure.

Like with the exam. I was so focused on it that I didn't bother balancing my checkbook :0P Or cooking regularly. There was even a time when even doing the laundry was way down my list of priorities.

(Who am I kidding? Laundry is always low on my list :0P).

Buti na lang talaga my husband is so understanding. and kind. and handsome. and sexy.

(Hi, babe!).

Hay. But, in fairness to me, I'm learning. Pramis.

Anticlimactic.

That's how the exam was. Not because it was easy (it wasn't for me!!) but because after all the worrying, the loong days, the fatigue -- it was finally over, just like that.

I still don't know how I feel about it. It was tiring, yes. Five hours of looking at a computer monitor answering questions that actually requires thinking (a lot of it) with only a 15-minute respite will obviously take its toll. But aside from that, I'm... I don't know... not really dedma but not that caught up too.

That in itself is already surprising. I've been thinking about it and as hard for me to admit it, I have to say it, I do not take failure lightly. I guess it's because I grew up believing that I have nothing more to offer than my intelligence. I remember thinking in HS that it was ok if I wasn't pretty, I was pretty damn smart anyway. Thus, I set a pretty high bar for myself when it comes to success.

I've come a long way since then. I've realized that I've got far more to offer than just my IQ score (which is superior, not to brag, but since we're on the topic anyway, I thought you should know hehe). But I guess, old habits really die hard and I'm still learning about accepting failure (in all forms) more graciously.

Maybe the worries will come later. But as of now, I'm feeling pretty cool about it, whatever the results maybe. And I know that the card that Mr.A gave me after the exam and what he wrote in it has a lot to do with my frame of mind.

Like what he said, whatever happens, I'll get there (being a licensed PT) and he'll always be right beside me.

And for me, that's what's really important.

Another lesson in perspective.

I've always had a problem with keeping things in their proper perspective. I have this drama-queen tendencies to make such a big deal about certain events in my life.

Like my upcoming exam, for instance.

I've been so focused on it that life after it seems improbable.

(Told you I was a drama queen.) :0P

Well, life taught me a lesson today -- one that drove home the fact that there are more important things in life than passing or failing an exam.

Lemme tell you what happened today that made this lesson clear.

Mr.A and I were home today since we both called in sick; he was still nursing a cold and I was feeling feverish and achy. Little did we know that feeling sick today would turn out to be a real blessing.

Around 2.30pm, Mr.A and I heard a loud bang outside. I thought it was just an old car backfiring and he thought it was one of our neighbors finishing off leftover fireworks from yesterday.

We were both wrong. So wrong.

About a minute after the bang, someone rang the doorbell. While Mr.A went to get the door, I looked out the window to see who it could be since we weren't expecting anyone. Imagine my surprise, followed by panic, to see flames and smoke coming from the Juniper hedge that borders our lawn.

The neighbor across the street was the one who rang the bell. When Mr.A opened the door, he was already using the front lawn hose to try and put out the fire.

Everything that followed was a blur.

Mr.A called 911 while I tried looking for a pail -- paksyet, wala kaming balde! -- to help put the fire out. After what seemed like an eternity of thinking what the hell I could do, I finally realized that we had a hose at the backyard long enough to reach the front lawn. When I got out, 2 more neighbors were using their hoses to help put the fire out. It took four of us around 10 minutes to finally put it out. By that time, almost 3/4 of the whole length of our hedge was burnt to a crisp (as in tutong) and the fire also managed to reach the big tree in the front lawn. That's also the time that the firetruck and the police came.

I'm disappointed with the police and the firemen's response. They took their time getting here but from what I heard, there's been a lot of fire incidents the day before (4th of July) involving fireworks that they weren't that worried about this particular incident. Still, I was worried! It wasn't everyday that our front lawn bursts into flames.

Anyway, the first neighbor who saw the fire said that after the loud bang, he looked out of his window and saw a car speeding down the street but he soon was distracted by the fire and smoke coming from our lawn that he didn't pay any more attention to the car. From the looks of it, the police chalked it down to teenage pranksters.

It was only later, while cleaning the mess, that we found what looked like the fuse of a MoLOTov cocktail.

It was only about an hour after the incident that I realized how serious it might have become if we weren't home today or if someone didn't see it. The wind was pretty high and if the tree really caught fire, the fire could have reached the house.

So yeah, I'm not that anxious about the exam anymore. There's more to life than that.