thinking out loud

Been a while since I've done any introspection. All I've been able to do was jot down the details of my not-so-exciting life :0P But reading her take on friendships that have come and gone made me stop and think.

I'm real proud of the fact that I make friends easily and I've kept a lot of the friendships I've made through the years. Thinking about it, I view lost friendships as a failure on my part.

It's only lately that I've realized the fact that people do change, and unfortunately there are times when these changes make them grow apart from you and you from them. Maybe these people have already played their role in your life. Maybe you have already played your role in their lives. Whatever, it's better to just say thank you and move on.

I've been trying to hold on to some friendships just for old times sake. But with this realization, I think it would be wiser to just let go rather than exert futile effort in keeping up pretenses.

***

I feel so dirty.

I stooped to levels lower than I've ever stooped before.

Today, I became a hypocrite.

Yup, I played the game of bureaucracy that I've always ranted about. I used (monetary) power to get ahead. And left dozens and dozens of people who can't afford to pay, eating my dust.

I used a fixer in renewing my very expired driver's license. I paid double the usual amount to have my ID card in less than 3 hours.

Seriously, I am ashamed of myself.

***

Here's one more thing to be ashamed of:

I succumbed (again) to the call of the shops.

Bought a pair of capri pants that would be perfect for spring and 2 tanktops to pair with it. Also bought a multicolored tanktop that goes well with my rainbow sandals. And 2 yummy chocolate tops :0)

I promise that this is gonna be the last time I'll indulge myself (for this month at least). Though, come to think about it, I really have no choice coz my personal funds are dwindling.

Guess it's goodbye to the Happy Feet I was planning to buy and to the sequined flats that was calling out my name.

So many shops, so little money.

Sigh. This is the tragedy of the unemployed kikay :0P