2 years.

My mother said: find someone who loves you more than you love him



I thought that was kind of unfair.

Then I found him.



It's not that I love him less... oh, no... I love him more than I could ever love someone and each day shows me how much more I can still love him.





But somehow, he always manage to show me that he loves me more than I can ever love him.



And that humbles me.



And makes me want to strive more to be worthy of such love.



I love you, babe. Thanks for 2 years of wedded bliss.

The dawn of realization.

I've been having a bad case of holiday blues lately. Which, when I think about it, is weird, given the fact that it's my second Christmas here. Last Christmas was a little lonesome, yeah, but I don't recall feeling this homesick.

I guess part of it is the fact that it was still all so new to me. I was so engrossed in all these things I needed to do to establish myself here that I never got to fully comprehend how big a step it was that I took. I didn't have time to think about what I was losing, what with all the immigration appointments I had to go to, all the requirements I needed to meet to get licensed, all the big and little things I had to get used to to settle down.

I figured this was bound to happen sooner or later. The realization of how much I needed to give up in order to get to where I am right now. No regrets, just an overwhelming sadness at times.

I remember a song on the Wicked, The Musical OST that totally captured it all...

That's why I couldn't be happier
No, I couldn't be happier
Though it is, I admit
The tiniest bit
Unlike I anticipated
But I couldn't be happier
Simply couldn't be happier
(spoken) Well - not "simply":
(sung) 'Cause getting your dreams
It's strange, but it seems
A little - well - complicated
There's a kind of a sort of : cost
There's a couple of things get: lost
There are bridges you cross
You didn't know you crossed
Until you've crossed
And if that joy, that thrill
Doesn't thrill you like you think it will
Still -
With this perfect finale
The cheers and ballyhoo
Who
Wouldn't be happier?
So I couldn't be happier
Because happy is what happens
When all your dreams come true
Well, isn't it?
Happy is what happens
When your dreams come true!

Well, this must be the kind of sort of cost...

Decking the halls.

These are the results of one very busy weekend:

Running on caffeine.

And sugar, on what turned out to be a very interesting morning.

One tall, coffee frappuccino.

One cinnamon twist.

One slice of banana-nut bread.

Four and a half hours.

12 patients.

And surely, a ton of paperwork to follow.

But it's all good.

Kasi dey op ako bukas :0D

I'm planning on crashing from my sugar high as soon as I get home and will resurface at around lunch tom. Hopefully, I'll have enough time to finish all my paperwork, fold the laundry, do the dishes, vacuum the house before my eye appointment at four.

Hmm. Wishing. Will probably end up on the couch, vegetating while watching a gazillion Law and Order reruns :0P

My Shoe Collection (Part 2)

These are the pairs I've acquired within the last year and a half that I've been living here in the Bay Area.

Flats







Flats are #1 in my list. They are comfortable and practical enough for work without sacrificing style. Obviously, I'm more partial to girly, flirty styles although the simple black Bruno Magli ones are my favorites.

Wedges





I'm so glad that wedges are back!! They let me add height without sacrificing comfort. Believe it or not, I only paid $27.00 for both the black and white pair and the ankle-tied brown pair, so far the best deal I've ever got!!

Heels





I don't wear heels that often any more, unlike when I was in Manila. The black strappy ones and the round-toed, ankle-tied ones I bought for specific occasions while the two Naturalizer pairs were the very first shoes I bought when I got here in California.

Boots




The high-heeled boots I bought at a flea-market for around $20 to complete my pirate costume last Halloween while the wedge ones were bought specifically for our NY trip last winter.

Others


The Indian-inspired slip-ons were given as a gift and the black, wooden ones I bought at a county fair.


These are my casual shoes. I got the funky split-toed Nike from the Outlet store and I got the red Keens for free through a coupon given by a patient.


And of course, my tsinelas. The Nike ones I bought pala in Manila while the brown Roxy pair was an unplanned purchase when I found myself walking along Huntington Beach in sneakers.

Grabe! Not counting the thong ones and the slippers, I've managed to add 17 pairs of shoes in as many months... meaning I'm averaging a pair a month. Tsk. Tsk. I might have a problem after all ;0P

They say I have a shoe problem.

I say it's more like a 'heightened appreciation' for shoes.

For me, shoes can make or break an outfit. With the right pair of shoes, jeans and a white shirt can either look casual, sporty or glam. Purses and accessories are just icing on the cake.

The cake itself? Shoes.

I was in college when my love affair with shoes started. Before then, I only had the requisite pairs -- black mid-heels for dressy occasions, black flats for school and sneakers for everything else. But in college, I slowly evolved. Suddenly, three pairs weren't enough to meet all my needs. And my needs grew along with my shoe collection when I started earning my own money.

So you can just imagine how difficult it was for me to choose what shoes to pack when I moved here last year. It took me two days to go through all my shoes and to decide which ones were joining me in my new life.

And here were the lucky ones...


My favorite flats. See how cool the black ones are? Each shoe has a different embroidered image :0) That's why it breaks my heart that I have to retire this pair (along with the printed white ones) coz of damages :0(

My kitten-heeled mules and colorful sandals. When I left Manila, kitten-heels were still very much in vogue. Although I still like these pairs, I don't wear them as often since I always end up with a killer backache coz of the kitten-heels:0P

My metallic heels. I love how these can dress up any outfit! The beribboned ones I wore to my wedding reception. The strappy ones I bought at People Are People (Robinson's Place) for just Php200 (around US$4)-- nice deal huh?!

My high-heeled mules. Although I don't wear them as much nowadays, these were pretty much my uniform whenever I had a lecture to give back in Manila. High heels and pointy-toes somehow gave me an aura of respectability (enough para magmarunong hehe).

My only sling-backs. I remember buying this on impulse at Cardam's (Rob Place, Mla.) coz they looked so good with the pants I was wearing then. I'm glad they turned out to be an investment piece after all.

My only pair of white shoes. (Pardon the yucky stains).

My only pair of sneakers.

I haven't worn this pair yet when I was about to leave Manila last year. They were from my Mom. I don't really wear them much since they're really not my style but they do come in handy as slippers come winter time.

That's it. Next time, I'll post pics of the shoes I bought when I got here :0)

30 Things A Woman Should Have & Should Know By The Time She's 30 (Part 2)

Here's the next part of the list.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
I'm still learning this one along with the one that says how to not give a damn about what people will say.
2. How you feel about having kids.
I know that I want kids. It's the timing I'm still thinking about.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
Hmm. The first and last I'm quite adept with. About the middle one, the only time I did it, I didn't do so well and I sure as hell have no plans of doing it again :0P
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
I'm well on my way on this one. Knowing what battles are worth fighting gets you a lot closer to winning the war.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn't like to happen next.
Oh, yeah baby! Though kissing just one man kinda makes this a lot easier to master.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
I know the first one but I'm lost on the next two. But I do know the names of the stores where you can get fabulous shoes for fabulous prices :0)
7. How to live alone, even if you don't like to.
Hmm. This hasn't been empirically proven yet but theoretically, I think I've got the know-how to do this.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
Huh? Does this mean feeling comfortable with my years? If it does, then my answer is a resounding YES.
9. That you can't change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
I learned the first 2 early in life and moved on to greater things -- like obsessing about changing my grades:0P The third one, I'm slowly learning. Slowly is the keyword here :0P
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over.
I know, I know. But there's no harm in having a second one di ba? hehe ;0)
11. What you would and wouldn't do for money or love.
Yes, I know the stuff that falls under these. But I wish I could say that all of them are set in stone. One thing I do know, everything changes.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
Hah. Check, check, check and uhh... check!
13. Who you can trust, who you can't and why you shouldn't take it personally.
Everyday's a learning experience for me on this one.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn't your fault.
This I gotta learn... and soon!
15. Why they say life begins at 30.
Oh yeah, I know this for sure. Like I know for sure that life begins at 40 when I turn 40 hehe ;0)

30 Things A Woman Should Have & Should Know By The Time She's 30 (Part 1)

I turn 29 this month.

Yup, just a year from the big three-oh.

And that reminded me of this list that Glamour magazine published (not sure when).

So, just for fun, I'm going to run through it now to see how I rate.

According to the list, by 30 you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you've come.
Hmm. Since I'm happily married, I'd imagine this would be unsafe territory hehe :0) Instead of boyfriends, let's generalize it into friends -- those you can imagine growing old with and those who remind you of how far you've come. And yes, I have those. It took me the last few years to fully realize and accept which is which.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
Since I moved to an entirely different continent, this technically does not apply to me :0P But I'm hoping to buy a couple of pieces to makeover our home.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
Yes to both, although I'm sure the man-of-my-dreams- would rather see me wearing nothing (right, babe?!).
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you're not ashamed to be seen carrying.
Check, check, check. A quilted Coach bag, a small, simple purple umbrella and a red suitcase.
5. A youth you're content to move beyond.
Yup. You can't pay me enough to go back to my 21 year-old self.
6. A past juicy enough that you're looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
I guess, depends on how you define juicy though :0P
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age - and some money set aside to help fund it.
Check again. My husband and I are drawing up our battleplan to establish financial freedom :0)
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account - all of which nobody has access to but you.
I don't need the first two but I'm thinking about the third one.
9. A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.
Oh, yeah. And soon, I'll have one more entry to add to it: Physical Therapist, licensed in the State of California.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
Yes and yes. Almost all my friends can make me laugh but only a few lets me cry, no questions asked, no unsolicited advices given.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
Yes to the screwdrivers and the cordless drill plus I even know how to use them. No to the black lace bra since I find lace itchy. But I have found a bra brand that fits me perfectly, and that, as every woman knows, is worth a million :0)
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
The thing is, I maybe a shop-a-holic but deep-inside, I'm still very much kuripot :0P So, no, I haven't yet bought anything ridiculously expensive in one go but I'm sure if you add up the cost of all the shoes I bought in just the last year, it'll amount to ridiculously expensive. And I'm also pretty sure that if ever I can set aside my conscience for a moment or two and do get to buy a ridiculously expensive thing, it'll be a pair of Manolos.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
I didn't get to my 20th pair of shoe (that brings the total to 35 pairs) in 17 months without believing, quite heartfully, I must say, that I deserve it :0D
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don't get better after 30.
I'm proud to say that I have the sunscreen and moisturizer thing down pat. The exercise routine, I'm still struggling with :0P
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.
Oh, yeah baby! My career is well on it's way however long and winding the road was and still is. My relationship? I couldn't ask for more though I'm always striving hard to be more.

Hmm. How do I rate? Not bad huh? ;0)

Now, I need to do a few chores so the 'should know' part of the list is coming on my next post:0)

Looks like I spoke too soon.

I just finished downloading the study guide for the California Law Exam (CLE) -- all 98 pages of it :0P I still think it's going to be easier than the boards but I guess it's not going to be the walk in the park that I thought it would be. But I'm not complaining, no siree. I'd rather plod through 98 pages of legal jargon than repeat studying for the State Boards. After all, 98 pages is nothing compared to cramming 2 years of study into 3 weeks :0P

Anyway, I think I'm gonna have enough time to study for it because contrary to what I thought, that all I need to do is schedule the CLE, I still need to go through a couple of steps before I get to sit for it. Steps like registering for it and waiting for my authorization-to-test letter before I can actually schedule. Anyway, it's all good. No rush.

On to other stuff -- next month's gonna be my birthday month and I'm looking forward to it, more than usual. My 28th year has been good so far and I know that with the way things are going, my 29th will be a lot better :0)

For not so good news, we finally had someone look over the damage to our front lawn. The landscaper said that it will cost us $400 to get everything cleaned up. That does not include replacement of the Junipers that was burned. Sigh. The painful thing is it's gonna come from our own pockets. The insurance can cover it but we've decided that it's not worth getting our premiums jacked up. Oh-well.

We're off to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. This movie holds a special place in my heart since it's based on the Disney ride -- and that's where my husband proposed to me :0)

Thank you, Lord!

I passed!!!

Thank God!!!

I passed the National Physical Therapist Examination! All that's left to do is pass the California Law Exam for Physical Therapists :0)

(I'm not worried about that one since it's just like the DMV exam -- you know, where all the stuff you need to learn to pass is in one booklet.)

Love talaga ako ni Lord :0) Thanks for all the prayers and the positive thoughts you guys sent my way!

Back to regular programming.

I finally got around to balancing my checkbook after 2 months :0P (yep, my last entry was sometime April). I'm just so glad I have an online transaction record.

Which led me to thinking that I'm really bad when it comes to pressure. When something of importance comes up, I get this tendency to overrate the event to the point that it eclipses everything else.

Really. I'm soo graceless under pressure.

Like with the exam. I was so focused on it that I didn't bother balancing my checkbook :0P Or cooking regularly. There was even a time when even doing the laundry was way down my list of priorities.

(Who am I kidding? Laundry is always low on my list :0P).

Buti na lang talaga my husband is so understanding. and kind. and handsome. and sexy.

(Hi, babe!).

Hay. But, in fairness to me, I'm learning. Pramis.

Anticlimactic.

That's how the exam was. Not because it was easy (it wasn't for me!!) but because after all the worrying, the loong days, the fatigue -- it was finally over, just like that.

I still don't know how I feel about it. It was tiring, yes. Five hours of looking at a computer monitor answering questions that actually requires thinking (a lot of it) with only a 15-minute respite will obviously take its toll. But aside from that, I'm... I don't know... not really dedma but not that caught up too.

That in itself is already surprising. I've been thinking about it and as hard for me to admit it, I have to say it, I do not take failure lightly. I guess it's because I grew up believing that I have nothing more to offer than my intelligence. I remember thinking in HS that it was ok if I wasn't pretty, I was pretty damn smart anyway. Thus, I set a pretty high bar for myself when it comes to success.

I've come a long way since then. I've realized that I've got far more to offer than just my IQ score (which is superior, not to brag, but since we're on the topic anyway, I thought you should know hehe). But I guess, old habits really die hard and I'm still learning about accepting failure (in all forms) more graciously.

Maybe the worries will come later. But as of now, I'm feeling pretty cool about it, whatever the results maybe. And I know that the card that Mr.A gave me after the exam and what he wrote in it has a lot to do with my frame of mind.

Like what he said, whatever happens, I'll get there (being a licensed PT) and he'll always be right beside me.

And for me, that's what's really important.

Another lesson in perspective.

I've always had a problem with keeping things in their proper perspective. I have this drama-queen tendencies to make such a big deal about certain events in my life.

Like my upcoming exam, for instance.

I've been so focused on it that life after it seems improbable.

(Told you I was a drama queen.) :0P

Well, life taught me a lesson today -- one that drove home the fact that there are more important things in life than passing or failing an exam.

Lemme tell you what happened today that made this lesson clear.

Mr.A and I were home today since we both called in sick; he was still nursing a cold and I was feeling feverish and achy. Little did we know that feeling sick today would turn out to be a real blessing.

Around 2.30pm, Mr.A and I heard a loud bang outside. I thought it was just an old car backfiring and he thought it was one of our neighbors finishing off leftover fireworks from yesterday.

We were both wrong. So wrong.

About a minute after the bang, someone rang the doorbell. While Mr.A went to get the door, I looked out the window to see who it could be since we weren't expecting anyone. Imagine my surprise, followed by panic, to see flames and smoke coming from the Juniper hedge that borders our lawn.

The neighbor across the street was the one who rang the bell. When Mr.A opened the door, he was already using the front lawn hose to try and put out the fire.

Everything that followed was a blur.

Mr.A called 911 while I tried looking for a pail -- paksyet, wala kaming balde! -- to help put the fire out. After what seemed like an eternity of thinking what the hell I could do, I finally realized that we had a hose at the backyard long enough to reach the front lawn. When I got out, 2 more neighbors were using their hoses to help put the fire out. It took four of us around 10 minutes to finally put it out. By that time, almost 3/4 of the whole length of our hedge was burnt to a crisp (as in tutong) and the fire also managed to reach the big tree in the front lawn. That's also the time that the firetruck and the police came.

I'm disappointed with the police and the firemen's response. They took their time getting here but from what I heard, there's been a lot of fire incidents the day before (4th of July) involving fireworks that they weren't that worried about this particular incident. Still, I was worried! It wasn't everyday that our front lawn bursts into flames.

Anyway, the first neighbor who saw the fire said that after the loud bang, he looked out of his window and saw a car speeding down the street but he soon was distracted by the fire and smoke coming from our lawn that he didn't pay any more attention to the car. From the looks of it, the police chalked it down to teenage pranksters.

It was only later, while cleaning the mess, that we found what looked like the fuse of a MoLOTov cocktail.

It was only about an hour after the incident that I realized how serious it might have become if we weren't home today or if someone didn't see it. The wind was pretty high and if the tree really caught fire, the fire could have reached the house.

So yeah, I'm not that anxious about the exam anymore. There's more to life than that.

She's alive!

Yep. I am. Very much so that I feel every sliver of anxiety and stress that a living person, faced with a turning point in his/her life, feels. And every sliver translates to feeling naiihi or naduduwal everytime I think about the boards :0P Ugh. Ayan na naman.

Anyway, I've been on isolation mode for the past 3 weeks, only resurfacing during the weekends to hoard happy and (more important) relaxed times that will see me through another loooong and tedious week of reviewing.

For week 1, I had the breathtaking views of the Pacific seen while driving along Hiway 1 to comfort me through boring Orthotics and Prosthetics. The taste of our Moroccan Shrimp starter and Aldwin's entree of Brazilian Pork at Robin's in Cambria gave me werewithal to plod through Physical Agents and Thera Ex.

Week 2 had me thumbing through my mental scrapbook of my first visit to Paramount's Great America for a memory strong enough to get me through Cardio and Pulmo Rehab with Pediatrics and Geriatrics to boot. What was effective? My memory of riding a 45-mph-roller-coaster with twists and turns plus a 360-degree loop, STANDING UP. Hah. After that feat, life can pretty much throw anything my way. (Just not a score lower than 600 at the NPTE, please. That I'm not yet prepared to take.)

For this week, I needed some strong ammunition for Neuro and Musculoskeletal Rehab with a side-serving of Research and Administration. So last weekend, I was at Napa, gorging on good food and excellent wines.

Lemme digress... I am no wine expert but I can taste the difference between the Php60 red wines and the $110 reserve red. There IS a BIG difference but it doesn't mean that I like one better than the other. I still don't like them both hehe :0D Reds just don't push my buttons like the rose and white wines can.

Back to regular programming... so yeah, Napa was a good choice for this week's review. Especially since I was able to bring home not just memories but concrete stuff -- like the garlic-parmesan dip that was also perfect as a Ceasar salad dressing or the Chocolate Amaretto sauce that made me finish almost a pound of strawberries in one sitting.

I'm keeping one Napa souvenir intact until next Friday, after the boards. Whether it went well or not, Mr.A and I will be at home toasting my survival with a bottle of Moscato.

***

Pictures to follow coz all of a sudden I was hit by this bone-chilling panic induced by my inability to remember wTf ST segment elevation means.

Memorial Day Weekend teaser

Memorial Day has come and gone, and with it, the crisp breeze of spring. Unofficially, that is. But I can already feel summer in the air and on my skin however unofficial it is.

My 3-day weekend was really uneventful... except for the part where I accidentally razored off a huge chunk of my husband's sideburns :0P

More on that later. Gotta go back to work!

OMG moments of the day

* Reading about a summer package that includes airfare + 2 nights at The Bellagio for just $199 per person.

* Chris Daughtry performing with Live. 'Nuf said.

* High-brow artist, Prince, actually showing up on American Idol.

* Catching a glimpse of Coke Effervescence. Coke and coffee in one drink? OMG.

* American Idol Season Finale -- not Taylor Hicks' winning of the title but hearing Chris Daughtry sing again... OMG, how can they eliminate him?!

Mushu musings on season finales

Can't sleep. I think I overdosed on mushu pork :0P

Spent the whole evening watching all the season finales on our DVR -- CSI (both NY and Vegas) and Close to Home. All the shows that Mr.A and I watch are having their summer hiatus. Can't remember which shows we watched last summer or if we lived on reruns alone.

(I can live on Law and Order reruns but don't tell my husband :0P)

Last season's finale episode of CSI Vegas was still the best in my opinion although this season's episode has one hell of a cliff-hanger -- Grissom and Sara?!? Didn't see that one coming.

CSI-NY was so-so... I guess it was the feeling that the whole episode was rushed. The case tackled in Close to Home was interesting although the ending left me with a heavy heart.

That leaves me with just House and American Idol to look forward to next week. Oh, and CSI-Miami's never-ending finale ( c'mon, 3 episodes?!) But I watch Miami for it's comedic value -- Horatio's OA drama and my husband's violent reaction to it equals FUN! hehe :0D

What I still fume over is not having the chance to watch the season finale of Criminal Minds. It's stupid Dish Network's fault :0P

Which brings me to the news that we might be getting TFC soon. Hmm. That would give us something to watch over the summer.

Anyway, enough of this. Will try to sleep already. Hope I don't have mushu dreams :0P

the green card that wasn't green.

Hindi naman pala green ang green card. Puti sya. Ewan ko ba kung bakit green card ang tawag sa kanya. Sabi ng mister ko, nung nakuha nya yung 'green' card nya, pink naman daw ang kulay. Ang labo :0P

Whatever color it is though, I'm thankful that I've finally received mine. At least I don't have to worry about getting deported back to Manila (however remote that possibility is) when my spousal visa expires next year.

Iniisip ko nga na 2 years valid lang yung card ko. According to the regulations, when an application to adjust to permanent resident status is based on a marriage that hasn't reach 2 years yet, the status that will be granted is conditional. Meaning, 2 years valid lang yung card, tapos kapag natapos yung period na yun, one should apply again to have them lift the conditional status, dun palang ibibigay yung 10-year green card. E nung nag-apply kami, a year and 8 mos palang yata kami kasal.

Anyway, I was really surprised and delighted to find out that instead of giving me conditional residency, they actually gave me the 10-year card already! So that means, I don't have to think about applying again and renewing anything.

Hay. Thank God for lucky breaks like this.

Embarassing Moment #2068493564

You know how there are lay ministers who give out communion?

There's one lay minister in our church who doesn't look like the typical lay minister one would expect (especially if one comes from the Manila). Since he looked 17 to me, I was thinking he's pretty young to be a lay minister. Add the fact that he was sporting a hairstyle worthy of Dragon Ball-Z, you can't blame me for being a lil distracted.

So distracted that when it was my turn to receive communion, I said 'thank you' instead of the requisite 'amen'! :0P

Ang saya talaga!

Frustrated

I'm crying silent tears of frustration when all I really want to do is to scream and scream or push/throw something just to let out steam.

All I want is the freedom to be myself -- both my nice and not-so-nice-spoiled-brat self. I'm tired of tiptoeing around and keeping everything bottled in for the sake of an audience. I know I could go the other way and let it all out. I know I could. But I won't. Or I can't. 'Coz I'm just not like that.

The rough patches I can sail through as long as I have the privacy and my own space to regroup and to put everything in perspective.

Take that away and I'm lost. And frustrated.

April Fool

That's what I am (with the rest of the US and Europe, I think):0P

And Daylight Saving Time (which started yesterday) is the collective joke on us.

It really is quite foolish (not to mention, painful) trying to fool (there's the word again...) my body into thinking that it's already an hour later when in truth, it's not.

It's especially hard coz I usually wake up at 5.15AM on a weekday.

This morning, the alarm clock said 5.15 but my whole being knows that it's just FREAKING 4.15 IN THE MORNING.

***

Fallen.

And because of DST, I've fallen off the wagon.

Before today, I've been very good about keeping my coffee consumption low. It has been limited to a couple of sips in the morning, a tall, light coffee frappuccino twice a week (to help keep me awake during my study sessions), and usually a sip or nothing at all on weekends.

But today, today I reached an all-time high. A full cup in the morning and a tall tumbler filled to the brim, which I sipped throughout the day to keep me sane and awake.

By the time I came home from work, I felt like there was a gaping hole of fire burning in my gut.

Not good.

2 years and counting...

Today is my and Mr.A's 2nd wedding anniversary :0)

I can't believe that it was just two years ago when I made one of the most important (and so far, the best) decision of my life. It really seems longer than that.

Sometimes, it seems that Mr.A and I have been together forever.

Cliche, I know.

Come to think of it, this year is actually our first year together. As in together together.

Looking back, it was one hell of a ride. There were a lot of changes and a lot more adjustments. A lot of discussions, compromise and explanations.

Laughter, conversation and a great deal of patience made the ride less bumpy.

And of course, the love and friendship made everything worthwhile.

***

'Idol' musings

* This week's performances suck big time! Worst week ever in terms of song choices and audience impact.

* Sad how Lisa Tucker totally bombed her version of Kelly Clarkson's 'Because of You' during performance night then was able to nail it head on during her farewell performance.

* I thought Katharine McPhee was one of the best performances. Turned out America didn't agree with me.

* Next week's gonna be 'Country Song' week. Of all genre to choose from, why the hell did they pick country?! Mr.A and I might boycott it next week. But then, we might get curious enough to see how Chris Daughtry will approach next week's challenge.

On the verge.

At long last, everything seems to be falling into place.

After the success of my adjustment of status interview, the next good news was the positive result of my credentialing evaluation.

Yup, the credentialing agency granted me equivalency. Which means I don't need to take additional classes. Really a lot of load off my mind.

Next step is applying to sit for the CA state boards. Which would take, give or take, another month. Still, I'm half-way there!

I'm already excited and a lil anxious about the boards. Already told my boss that I'll be taking a 3-wk leave to do some intensive studying once I get the go-ahead to take the exam.

He's ok about it, though he did tell me that after all of this, I'll look back and realize that I really don't need to take that leave to get my license. I told him that this means a lot to me that I'd rather not risk it by being too sure of myself :0P

Sigh. Almost there. Pray for me.

Turning over a new leaf.

Time and again, I've promised myself that I'll make more effort to keep this blog updated.

Time and again, I fail to keep my promise.

Maybe it's because I am so conscious about writing 'properly', when all I should care about is writing for myself.

From now on, I promise to write for myself and not for any audience.

What better time to turn over a new leaf than the first week of spring?

(Though you'll never know it with the amount of rain we've been having :0P)

I woke up late today.

Why?

Because I was dreaming that I was a contestant in a beauty pageant.

I didn't want to wake up because I wanted to know who won :0P

Talk about weird dreams.

It's a slow day at work.

And I find myself counting the hours until 3.30 pm.

I hate these slow days. Days like these, I'm stuck doing desk stuff like answering the phones and doing files when I'd much rather treat patients.

3 more hours and 20 minutes.

Nothing shouts adulthood like filing your taxes and balancing your checkbook.

I was actually surprised that filing our taxes was relatively painless. Balancing the checkbook every other week takes (a lot) more effort.

And in anticipation of our tax refund (hehe), we went to Cache Creek and stuffed ourselves with, among others, roasted lamb, baby back ribs, prime rib, grilled salmon, cocktail shrimp, ice cream, cheesecake and my favorite -- fresh, juicy strawberries.

Then we donated $60 to the slot machines :0P

***

Superbowl Sunday

The Pittsburgh Steelers won, a 21-10 victory over the Seattle Seahawks.

I don't know a thing about football, but I have $2 (or was it $5?) riding on the game.

(When I put down my money, I thought it was for a community raffle. As it turns out, I was adding to the pool for the Superbowl :0P)

At wala akong napala sa pagtaya ko sa ending hehe :0P

For a moment there, I forgot about the complicated process of immigration.

After sending in my adjustment of status application (to change from a spousal visa to that of a permanent resident) and finally getting my employment authorization, I sorta put everything that's immigration-related to the back of my mind.

I've had other things to think about.

Like work. And my never-ending quest to get licensed here in Cali. Our NY trip (which was a blast, by the way). And the small everyday things that makes a life --- like what to cook for dinner, when to do laundry, where to go on the next three-day weekend (Tahoe, maybe?).

But with the arrival of my appointment letter for the adjustment of status and the appointment itself looming on the horizon, it has been uppermost in my mind again.

Uppermost as in I think of it every single day. Trying to anticipate the unexpected.

It should really be a piece of cake. After all, our marriage is as real as the diamond on my finger. (And I've got the certificate to prove it -- both for the diamond and the marriage.)

But, alas, it doesn't depend on me :0P
Still, there's the uneasiness that comes with being in a situation where you don't know what to expect and where you're not totally in control.

All dressed up.

Waiting for our train to long island where my friend is getting married. Goin to be late for the ceremony coz i was so slow gettin ready:0p will miss nyc but we're def comin' back!

We heart new york.

Aboard the ny city bus tours.

Georgia on our mind...

It's 6am here in atlanta, but we're still in pst, which is 3am, thus the bangag look. Will have coffee first with tessa before going on to ny.

Off we go...

Waiting for our flight out at the oakland airport. Next stop, atlanta, to meet with a dear friend for breakfast. (Uy,jetsetter ang dating!

Start spreading the news...

We're leaving today! :0)

Got the mobile blogging up and running so that I can send 'postcards' here while I'm in NY.

(Would have wanted the mobile blog to be a sideblog thingy but I don't have time to figure that one out. Maybe later.)

Anyway, we'll be off at 10.30 tonight, and after a sidetrip to Atlanta to have breakfast with Tessa (yippee!), we'll be in NY by lunch tom.

So yeah... start spreading the news...

Mobile blogging

Test post

Happy New Year!

Let me start 2006 with my 100th post and a walk (more like a hop, skip and a jump) down 2005's memory lane...

I was a new wife who had to see her husband off at the airport after just a week of married bliss. I braved the uncertainty, frustration and long lines of the US visa application process. I managed to pack 27 years worth of memories not to mention books, shoes, and clothes into 3 boxes and a suitcase. I travelled thousands of miles, leaving my family, friends and everything familiar and comfortable, to be with the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. I battled homesickness and the strangeness of a new home, a new country and a new culture, while discovering the intricacies of doing the laundry, washing dishes, vacuuming the carpet and cooking. I spent my weekdays with HGTV, Lifetime and Friendster; my weekends discovering everything that the Bay area and Northern California has to offer. I was blown away by Wicked, awed by Zumanity, enthralled by the fountains of the Bellagio, disappointed by LA, calmed by Laguna Beach and discovered that, for the time being, San Francisco owns my heart. I was annoyed, irritated, frustrated, and angered by my husband but each and every day strengthens the fact that marrying him was and still is, the best decision I've ever made. I started a new job while hoping to be given the go signal to start my career. I've made new friends, weeded out old friends and kept in touch with those I intend to keep. I've come to grips with my homesickness and have settled in. My husband gave me a car and I'm trying my best to learn how to drive it.

And that brings me full circle.

Whew.

I will always remember 2005 as the first year of the rest of my life :0)